Your child seems to dislike and disregard rules. S/he has been this way from birth. You or others have referenced your child as such: Willful, spirited, bully, stubborn, argumentative, and even non-compliant. You struggle in knowing how to react, coach and discipline your kid as s/he does not seem to respond in the way you hope or predict. In fact, attempts to correct his/her undesired behaviors just leads to more intense power struggles and conflict. Your child may seemingly act out by yelling, with emotional explosions, and by hitting and physical aggression. S/he struggles in adhering to the boundaries and expectations–almost appearing to willfully violate them with purpose and little remorse. Your child is frequently labeled as “defiant” and people seem to think your child’s behavior is the result of your poor parenting. You are feeling judged, frustrated and stuck.
You see the beauty and strength of your amazing child. You feel s/he is mislabeled and often so misunderstood. S/he has a big heart and shares lots of love. You want to learn how to communicate with your child so s/he will listen. You are tired of the fighting, the yelling, and you want a more positive and calm home environment. You struggle in knowing how to parent your child without breaking his/her amazing spirit. You want to feel confident in knowing that you are responding in the most supportive and loving manner while still setting appropriate limits and boundaries. I understand and I can help.
Your strong willed child is a LEADER. I assure you, despite your greatest fears, your child is not destined to become a criminal. I understand that it can most certainly look and feel that way at times. Strong willed children require a specialized and purposeful approach. It is true, they do not simply follow rules simply because it is expected of them. However, it does not mean that they are willfully defiant or incapable of doing so. I can help you teach how to talk with your child in a manner that facilitates listening, a sense of understanding, and improve likely follow through with requests. Most strong willed children are experiential learners–they learn by doing and sometimes by having to endure stressful consequences. Often, this may mean repeatedly. Hence, ‘discipline’ can prove tricky and more ‘tough love’ is not necessarily the answer. You likely know this already and have seen how it proves unhelpful. However, I am here to teach you how to more effectively coach your child through life in a manner that feels happier, loving and more joyful.
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