The chaos. The never ending list of to do’s: You complete one task and four more are added to the list. There is just never enough time. Things feel out of your control most days. You swing from a place of empowerment telling yourself “I got this!” to feeling discouraged and yelling “I can’t do this anymore!”. You feel so alone, exhausted and angry. You look at your partner and can feel the resentment growing….what is S/HE doing in all this to help? When you try to talk and express your frustration, your partner becomes defensive and starts citing how s/he also feels busy and has no more to give. Things might get better for a little while but it always returns to this same dark place. This was not how you envisioned things would be. You knew it was going to be tough….but just not in this way. The frustration and anger is starting to impact the kids. Home is feeling stressed and not the happy place you want it to be.
We sometimes repeat patterns, even if these patterns hurt us and others. We can have an ingrained sense of how things ‘should be’ and often, this may be based on our own upbringing. We are not even aware of it at times as it is just the norm. However, this can come into conflict with our partner who has a very different and separate view that serves as their normal. No one is “right” or “wrong” though the arguments often loop as such. It can most definitely feel wrong and unfair though.
Partners and parents often get stuck on that loop of “I’m right, You’re wrong”. You fight, over and over, but no real changes emerge. I can teach you to have a different and more effective conversation: One in which you can jointly create the partnership and style of sharing that best matches you. You can decide the rhythm of your home and it will be based on your needs, preferences and unique family culture. There is hope and a way out of this: I want to help.
Ready to get started? I want to help! Click below to get started on this journey of healing.