You are feeling disconnected. There’s a void that didn’t used to be there. You miss the hugs, smiles and laughter. You yearn for the time you felt that you could easily talk, share and there was just a ease and genuine warmth in your interactions. Now, s/he seems so far away….aloof….unreachable. You are not sure how it got this bad. Yes, there has been a lot of stress, fighting, and hurt. However, there has always been love to help see things through. But things seem different now…they feel…broken. Things feel so wrong and you don’t even know what is going on in his/her head and heart most times. You want to fix it all but you don’t know where to start. You might even worry that is not even possible anymore. But you still want to try. You feel you have to try and that you need to start now.
You want to reconnect and regain that sense of love, trust and warmth. You want that those negative patterns stop and that the pains stops. You get it–you know that this will require a lot of effort. You understand and want to try something new–it just cannot keeping going on like this. You are willing and you only hope s/he is as well. You are scared that things are past the point of return. Your fear is that this is the new ‘normal’ and this is simply NOT what you want. You cannot live like this. You feel it is time to repair the hurt and you want guidance on how to do it. I understand and I can help.
Though painful, it is common for relationships to wax and wane in their sense of closeness and connection. Much of the disconnect can arise from communication ‘misses’, mistakes and lack of repairing the pain caused, and the accumulation of the resulting hurt. If you cannot talk, you cannot resolve problems. Thus, much of the focus of our work together is on communication itself–building healthy and effective ways to expressing, relating, and resolving hurt. This can include any relationship whether it be your partner or your child. When we can connect to our loved ones in pain, process through past hurts, and reestablish new ways to interact that foster our love–THIS is the real and heavy change you seek. I can coach you to create these changes to help you to shift your relationship once again into a thriving mode.
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